21 Things You’re Actually Thankful For This Thanksgiving

November 20, 2014

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is all about reflecting on our fortunes and humbly expressing gratitude in a way that Kanye West has yet to master. Right now, you might be thinking that posting a pic of your fabulous tropical vacay with the accompanying hashtag “#blessed” qualifies as showing gratefulness, but you know what? We can do better as a society—and we can do it with a mouthful of mashed potatoes! So this Thanksgiving, let’s put down our phones (except to take meticulously composed pictures of our food like a Bon Appetit shoot). Time to celebrate the following things that make us happy:

 

  1. Sweatpants. This item of clothing is normally reserved for nights on the couch (or going to the grocery store…or bank…or let’s be honest, everywhere that’s not work). But nobody wants to wear skinny jeans on a day that involves over-eating like you’re trying to make wrestling weight. Enter sweatpants: the perfect post-meal wear, with no awkward unbuttoning of pants in front of 3rd cousins twice-removed.

  2. ALL DAY PUPPY CAMS. Good luck being productive with growing animals learning to open their eyes and be fuzzy: http://www.apl.tv/puppies.htm

  3. The Internet. We might not agree on religion, politics, or whether Taylor Swift produces noises that are tolerable. But we can all agree that the Internet is a gift. Can you imagine having a question and NOT being able to have it immediately answered by Wikipedia/xRockPrincessx on Yahoo answers?

  4. Be thankful for the concept of giving “thanks,” because if there were no “thanks,” Thanksgiving would just be “giving,” and that would be Christmas.

  5. The rare occasion when you take a selfie with friends and no one demands to have it retaken due to closed eyes/blur/“omg I look sooo fat!”

  6. Mason jars. Because they make every beverage seem 100% more hip.

  7. Instagram. If you make a beautiful meal and don’t instagram it before consumption… did it even exist at all?

  8. Sweater weather. These woven bundles of warmth are the best because they give the wearer a sense of timeless classiness–when in reality, you just wanted to be comfy and wear a blanket in the form of a shirt.

  9. When plans get cancelled that you were contemplating flaking on and now YOU’RE the one that comes out smelling like roses (AND you get to watch the Chopped marathon you wanted to watch).

  10. When you serendipitously wake up right mere seconds before your alarm clock goes off. Maybe there’s no tooth fairy, but there’s definitely a benevolent sleep fairy that occasionally decides to take pity on you.

  11. Leftovers. Yay, you get to skip grocery shopping for the week! Get ready to feel like you’ve entered a fissure of time and space where Thanksgiving NEVER ENDS and everything faintly smells of stuffing.

  12. Putting on a jacket you haven’t worn in a while, only to find CASH MONAAAY in the pocket.

  13. Killing three birds with one stone, aka eating Turducken.

  14. Netflix. The best surrogate BFF ever, who never mocks you for watching Gilmore Girls for an entire weekend straight. You’re never alone when you have seven seasons of Rory charmingly coming to terms with adulthood to keep you company.

  15. The “like” button on Facebook. Because we all need personal affirmation from the Internet.

  16. Pie. If you’re not thankful for pie… you need to arrange a doctor visit to check your heart and soul. Now is the time to ignore your gluten-free resolution. You can try that in the new year.

  17. Student ID discounts. After you chow down on your Thanksgiving feast, there’s still time to catch a movie! Let’s be honest here… just because you graduated in 2009 doesn’t mean you don’t still use your student ID to get 10% off at the local movie theater. You’re a student of life, after all. And hey, you can pass as a grad student well into your 40s.

  18. Emojis, for when you “just can’t.” If a picture’s worth 1000 words, the sassy dancing lady emoji is worth 10,000.

  19. Mirrors – because unlike people, they are not afraid to tell you that your fly is down.

  20. Doing a perfect parallel park job on your first try. This is something that should go on a resume, really.

  21. Power naps, aka second sleep. Let the tryptophan wash over you. Your belly is full, your family appeased, and the annual Thanksgiving James Bond marathon lulls you to slumber. You are now complete–and dare we say it, thankful.

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